I dont' know what i'm thinking

Inspiration

2009-11-07T07:56:00.003+08:00

Words turn me on. It should.

A friend of mine once told me " Your outlook determines your outcome " . Nicely put by her.

Here i go.

Love, is an emotional high.
Like all other highs. It doesn't last.

Logic Emotion Paradox

2009-10-03T15:43:00.003+08:00

i wanted to call you again today, as with every other day.
I played my guitar today imagining that you were in front of me again today.
I played that song that i wrote, hoping that you would come back, or call but you never did.
I wish you could read this, i wish you could know how i really feel. That is empty without you. No one beats having you by my side. I wish i could prove to you that i really love you, that i really changed, that i really regret. i wish, i wish .

I wish you were here, lying beside me once more again .

Love you, sherlyn tan shi ling.

Come What May

2009-09-07T01:22:00.005+08:00

I remember number 1 thing i learnt in Management Communications . Always assume your message will be mis-understood.

Indeed, we did . ( mouthful isnt it )

Its been eons since i last started blogging regularly, and my pool of creativity and writing had been drained and dry for quite some time now. Time to get things started, and RANT, most importantly.

B zai and I have hit a pretty rough patch, as you might have known from my last post. But thankfully, we have both agreed to give it time , and hope things revert to our old selves.

At the brink of losing her, i realized something. Never ever did i put myself at the mercy of another in such a way before.

Looking back at my past relationship, i always had something. It was control. I always had it, every moment of it. I even thought the same way, up till the point where i was walking out of her house after breaking up. " I decided to end this " I thought to myself.

This was different. B zai got apprehensive about this relationship, while i stood here, praying to all the stars in the universe that she would hold on to it .

It was a big change.

And such a big change could only mean something.

She was different, to me . She held a position no one could match.

That position, happened to be the centre of my life.

This rough patch brought insecurity into my life. Suddenly every word, every tone, every second she took to answer my question mattered. I saw myself stalking her facebook profile, staring at her msn conversation waiting for her to reply, and wondering who she was talking to . Suddenly, i became as vulnerable as a naked man in the middle of orchard road.

and in order to really illustrate how vulnerable i felt, that naked man had a small member.

My friend was shocked that i had been reduced to such a state.

But I wasnt. I knew that even though i lost my control in this relationship, although i might lose all my pride, my ego , it would be worth it, if things went back to normal.

She was simply the best i ever had , and i fucking mean it.

So, the time we spend in the days ahead would be crucial.

Of course, it would take two hands to clap, or two semicircles to form a circle, whatever rocks your boat.
Oh god, and i realize that there is a high possibility that she would read this.
Nah, im not gonna tell her that im continuing my blog, she wouldnt bother.
Well, if she reads this, it means that she bothers, and she probabbly still has a thing for me, and shes gonna be so happy ( hopefully ) that im insanely in love with her
( like some groupie to F4 or 5566 - that was my time. I have no idea wh0 the new boybands are. I ve gonna check with Addison for that one)
, that her tail is gonna wag .

Oh god, i suddenly imagined her tail, and i remember what a hot ass she has.
Out of point, but yah. My gf's hot & sizzling, like Tie Ban Dou Fu .

My dormant mind has came up with some rather cold jokes that i want to share , and put to pen , so people know its my freggin joke. Maybe someday i'll be a resident columnist of playboy or something, hang out with the playboy bunnies, instead of working a 9-3AM job as an accountant. sheesh .

Why do they teach trigonometry in Primary schools ?
So the students would get their "degrees" .

At this point in time, you should probably realize that the jokes that are coming along would be as deadpan as this . So ...... read on !

What kind of candy comes in all flavours, and most imporantly, is FREE OF CHARGE ?
Eyecandy !

Why do chinese/japanese have such small eyes ?
God decided that it was simply wrong if your eyes were bigger than your balls.

Braindead.

Sweet msn times.

To end it off,

"You are my glue, without you, i am nothing but broken pieces."

Will you give this up ?

2009-09-06T03:57:00.000+08:00

4 am. Just got home from chao's 21st birthday celebration.

But all that was on my mind was how things changed between us. Reading your livejournal now, im reminded of the many fond memories we shared. And how our love was the center of our lives. I dont know what changed us, but i sure miss the times we shared. I miss the times where you would call me and we would have wonderful and entertaining conversations about everything in the world and all that was going on with our lives.

Looking back, i regret the things i did that hurt you, i regret not hugging you for a second more, i regret not looking deeply into your eyes and telling you that i truly love you, when i had the chance. Life is such. Things are taken for granted, and often the most important things in life.

I wish you didnt change, and i still cant understand how a mere close clubbing experience with a guy in KL zouk could make you think that u were missing out on something in your youth, when i was feeling that this is what my youth should be like, filled with the best and sweetest memories that we shared.

I still distinctively remember our first date. Me frantically trying on different outfits just before i met you, how i made a mess in my room, while i struggled to recall that momentous night when fate, brought the two of us together. The first time i held your hand, the first time we kissed, the first time i felt that i really wanted to share and spend the rest of my life with someone.

So many firsts, was spend with you .So many things we did, that would surely be the highlight of my youth, and even my life. I just wish we could carry on , get married , have kids, and form a wonderful family. I wish i could be there hugging you keeping you warm every night, to be there wiping your tears, and to be by ur side washing the dishes while we play with the detergent foam.

I have really mixed feelings right now. Just saw your facebook "On your mind" thingy which said - KL Phuture was awesome. Was it because of that guy ? Was it because u ate that forbidden fruit ? My imagination roams while my heart slowly melts with every single second. KL phuture was awesome, it said.

Was it better how we spent the past 17 months ?
Is giving all this up, so that you can truly be liberated, and "enjoy" your youth/ socialize/ meet new people really worth it ?

Perhaps it was you telling me that your love died, or that you are no longer enjoying this relationship, in a fanciful way.

Perhaps it was simply because of all i did.

And tonight, i really regret.

I thought we would make it.

I really did .

Remember our awesome valentines day @ bugis ?

Sometimes, we tend to look only at what is in front of us, and what we want.
Sometimes, things are forgotten.
Sometimes, we tend to forget what others might feel / how our decisions may impact others.

I am no saint myself.
I did the worst things i could do , to you.

You, the best i ever had and have.

I miss you .

I wish now, that i was preparing for that first date with you , again .

and i love eating ur vommitted crabs.

Square Root Threee

2008-05-10T01:11:00.001+08:00

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic
I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three
As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

(Taken from the movie : Harold and Kumar )

Red Snow.

2008-04-11T01:40:00.004+08:00

I'm tired of the sunset,
Why do birds fly away when its winter.
The footprints washed away by the sand.
Here i am left to wither.

What is there in love.
That makes u write poems,
and sing songs like you really mean it.
Cheers to our passing youth.

Is there anything left in the world to know.
Or is there no place to start searching.
Our innermost souls,
greed lust and pride leaves it yearning.

To pass each day without feeling,
is that what life is i'm asking.
Does love make us like sands in an hourglass,
falling down eventually with time,
waiting for a new master to turn it back up.

Destiny within our hands,
fate on theirs .
Hand in hand we shall walk together,
till death parts us in winter.

the unspoken

2008-03-17T23:05:00.002+08:00

i am miles away,
yet u are near,
for deep inside u always stay.
what future there is i fear.
your radiance and laughter,
i miss so dear.

your presence completes me,
like a fool,
i'm grinning,
so silly.

to what is lost i reach,
mind of a regretful weep.
In memories its you i leech,
that love we had so intense and deep.

when you laid so close to me,
no other place in the world i wanted to be.
no other i wanna be.

madness

2008-03-13T23:17:00.002+08:00

scholarships, unis, interviews,
put it simply, im swamped.

but its either MAS, GIC, EDB, SGX, IRA .
then again, its them choosing me. not the other way around.

i miss.........

BUFFAY.

2008-03-04T23:21:00.002+08:00

yummy yummy yummy i've got love in my tummy.

i love how fantastic this week is .
boss is away, i'm having the spare time to read and chit chat, and i just discovered a fabulously cheap pool hall just opposite my camp, and moooola is rolling in, all that lacks is some retail espreeee.

STI is down (which is consoling to my pittiful stash hidden in the POSB (not Litchenstein) ) , Dollar is weakening, Petrol prices are up (heyhey i dont drive a car! antithesistical happiness but what the hell! ) , Gold prices are skyrocketing , Uni application starts soon, Mas Selamat is STILL OUT ( which means that someone's head will roll, a nice correction to the ministers' indisputable records and incomes ) and apparently used to live near me, MOH budget is up, MOS has free entry for tertiary students before 11 for the entire month of march, More smoking areas are put up ( YAH like thats gonna stop me. ), HSBC scores profits of over 10%, Man U plays tonight and are poised for a win, arsenal drew and manu is just 2 points behind, 200 bucks worth of Lays awaits me at the office, and a hotttttie (pssst) winked at me across the dinner table.

Dust in her eyes or not,
This is a happy day.

Life should be lived as if it was a gift, not an entitlement.
(Taken from "New Believers - Christianity and God" )

Uncle Mas

2008-03-02T21:31:00.002+08:00

As an extremely civic minded citizen, I find it mandatory for me to contribute to the country's cause and stand up for our small island should the need arise.

And because i still want windows in all our toilets, below shows the leading actor in the recent chart-topping series , "Toilet Break" .

Kindly report his whereabouts thruuu the following hotline ; 1800-999 .

(or simply lose the 1800 if u really see him. I think, i think, the call can still be made through) .

Come on lah, can pay for the monk's rolec , cannot pay for one phone call meh ?

Ahh, handsome eh?

Looks that can kill.

Jielong goes off to enjoy his scotch on the rocks, with a twiissst .

Paper Chase

2008-02-29T23:16:00.001+08:00

Do not count the days , make the days count .

Do not live for her, and she will live for you .

My Philiosophy - Love

2008-02-25T22:35:00.003+08:00

" Can you teach him for me, i have been nagging and nagging, but he still spends most of his time playing the computer and neglecting his studies "

It was to be more of a counselling session than a tuition.

The bulk of the lesson resembled a life-preparation course.
Tricked with my attempts to guide him into a forward thinking mentality
I bombarded him with the many worries and considerations of adulthood, mainly circling around the need for self provision, be it monetary or mental strength.

Youth is often marked by a ubitiquous obession with the transient. Often blinding and clouding their ability to plan for the future. Perhaps the education system could be blamed ( yes , blame everyone, i know ) , with it's sole concentration of the maths and sciences, - providing the foundation of the next generation of workers who would drive our economies- can we say that it is neglecting our equally important needs of self discovery ? While it could be argued that their lack of maturity could be a stumbling stone for lessons on self discovery ( afterall, what do they know at 14 ? ) , or a preview of the harsh realities of adulthood would prove to be too heavy a load to bear, the potential benefits of such an exercise could be unthinkable.

Should have - Words of regret fill the mouths of a young adult.
If only we had the foresight and that broadened thinking when we were young (pun intended).
Yet, is youth simply memorable and missed precisely for its innocence and spontaneity ?

Of course, a medium scale could be found. Philosophy, or the forming of concepts and ideas to govern our behavior, and on a larger scale, our lifes, should nevertheless form the cornerstone of a wholesome education.

---------------- On love -----------------------

We often bemoan love for its temporariness.

After God created Life, he created Love in the Garden of Eden.

Fresh, new found love is often yearned for.
That excitement, that shyness between lovers, that first touch and kiss, that 180bpm pounding of the heart is by large the aspect of love(courtship) we seek to enjoy.
This , of course does not last.
( we can imagine the number of dead uncles and aunties if their hearts continued to pound at that rate )

Its transition from the thrill of romance, to the mundanity of companionship frequently destructs relationship, with increasingly fewer lovers celebrating their love with marriage .( which again, as it is touted as the graveyard of love )

Love is , by no means an emotion. Love is a lifelong commitment of the inner soul, not the physical body. Nor is it an affair of two (or three, for threesomes), it is the communion of families. It asks for undying devotion, maturity, communication, and many other virtues which add up to give no perfect formula. Mankind took years to discover the nuclear bomb, yet it is matters of the heart, which no technology or time gives a solution to.

"If you want the rainbow, you must put up with the rain"

+++

Love leads us on a path of self discovery, where we lose ourselves, in the fufilment of another.

JL.

Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.

Shakespeare.

4 Days, Eight Hours of Sleep.

2008-02-24T01:10:00.002+08:00

Probabbly the best poem to end of my phase of life .

Comes the Dawn

After awhile you learn the subtle differences
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesnt mean security.
And you begin to understand that kisses aren;t contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes wide open.
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
You learn to build your roads,
On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have
A way of falling down in midflight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure,
That you really are strong.
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn, .... and you learn
With every goodbye you learn.

To what the future holds, let it be.
To those who fear for the future,
Live for today.

Had a wonderful time and company the past four days.
Its time for a reality check.
Thank you guys and girls .

Stymied.

2008-02-18T23:04:00.004+08:00

Goddammit.

How am i supposed to know whats my international home number and whats Bio A Bio B Bio Blah Blah Blah

UCAS sucks.

Procrastinate me .

Arent Taiwanese chicks cute '?

+++

Ms Hexacoto. I cant be bothered.

Seven Deadly Sins

2008-02-13T21:54:00.002+08:00

A recent poll showed an increase in the number of University applications in the US whose main reasons for pursuing a degree include ' finding a better job ' and ' increased income ' ( from 64% in 2006 to 84% in 2007).
Such a statstic may arouse anything but a jaw-dropping reaction at first glance.
Yet, on closer inspection of the true meaning to education, and what such a trend implies, we come to a frightening conclusion - The pursuit of wealth - physical wealth - has overtaken the pursuit of life.

Philosophers believe that there are three elements that make us human.
The soul, the spirit, and the body.

Our relentless chase for material wealth merely gratifies the body.
Years and years of poisoning by the media has led us to blindly believe that such a dollar chase ultimately ends in happiness.
By no similar coincidence, we see an equivalent decline in the attendence of churches and places of worship.

While critics may denounce such ideas for pragmatism in the new world, what does it mean to be pragmatic in the first place ?

(n)informed, makes feasible decisions based on real conditions
-Jielong's Dictionary ( cause he cant be bothered ) .

In other words, a pragmatic person has both his feet on the ground.

( out to lou-hei )

-------
oh ya, miss watermelons is now australian !
If you are reading this , Take care . Hope your enjoying yourself there

2008-02-11T19:13:00.000+08:00

"We can expect the economy to grow this year, the days ahead would be good. "
(In chinese)

Everytime i hear this on the radio, it got me thinking.
The year 2007 saw amazing growth.
The STI surged over 3,700 at one point. Most companies produced a double digit increase in their market cap, and the country saw , and still claims to have, lowest unemployment rate ever.

Yet this increase in suposed wealth saw no parallel increase in the number of times i smiled nor the level of happiness and satisfaction with my life.
The fundamental fallacy of economics is that it fails to recognise that humans are not mere materialistic robots, devoid of soul and emotions. Keynes's efficient market system and 'invisible' hand theory convienently ignores the fact that reciprocracy and love are as inherent and intrinsic to us as is greed. Statists may bemoan these values of humanism as they reduce us to mere numbers which statisically, obey these laws.
The truth remains that such laws apply only to homo economius, not homo sapiens.

Out to dinner and tuition .
In other words, to be continued.

I have short attention span lah.

Beyond.

2008-02-05T22:53:00.000+08:00

Life throws you adversity, happiness, moments of satisfaction, and an insatiable thirst for success. But death takes it all away. Everything.
All that you have achieved, experienced, goes to naught at the brink of death.
What is there to our existence ?

Heres a composition from a friend ,

All of us were created with a God-shaped hole in heart. Many of us don’t realize this, that’s why we often go about our lives feeling incomplete. We think that if we try hard enough to be accepted into a group of friends, if we work hard enough to gain approval by the world, we will be happy.

Like jigsaw pieces, trying to force pieces where they don’t belong distorts the image and damages it.

This is what we do when we try ways and means to fill our God-shaped hole with other relationships. Friends, boyfriends, girlfriends can be good for us but they don’t satisfy our big gaping need for God.

This huge need for God stems from the fact that humans were not made to be apart from God. We were made to be in relationship with our Creator. But the Fall seperated us, disconnected us from Him. We still recognize our need for relationships and connections but we often fail to recognize that only God can make us complete again. All other relationships flow from the health of this one central relationship – people and God.

When we give our hearts to someone, a friend, a lover, we take a risk. Love is risky. Love is handing your heart to someone and taking the risk that they will hand it back because they don’t want it. That’s why it is such a crushing ache on the inside. We give away a part of ourselves and it wasn’t wanted.

It’s not just about lovers, it’s about parents and their children, friends who have been hurt by friends, business partners who part ways. Heartbreak is universal. It’s universal because we’re feeling something as old as the world. Something God feels.

The Bible begins with God making people who have freedom. Freedom to love God or not to love God. And these people consistently chose not to love God. In Genesis 6:6, it says that God “regretted that He had made human beings on the earth, and His heart was deeply troubled.”

These ancient writers saw God as having a heart. That feels. That responds. That hurts. That fills with pain.

Who ever told you that God doesn’t understand? God takes this giant risk in creating and loving people, and in the process God’s heart is broken. Again and again and again. Divine heartbreak.

God knows. He knows and understands what it feels like to be rejected for who you are. He knows and understands when someone throws your heart back at you, after you’ve invested it into a friendship. And He tells you all the time, “My child, come back to me. My child, let me satisfy you, let me fill the hole in your heart.”

In Deut 7:6 it says, “The Lord your God has chosen YOU out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be His people, His treasured possession.”

You are his treasured possession. He loves you and accepts you as you are. You don’t need the world to approve of you. You don’t need anyone else to validate you. You are loved and cherished by God! The almighty Creator of the universe says He loves you! He wants to be in a relationship with you!

The puzzle is only complete when the God-shaped piece is in place. You are only complete when your hunger for a true relationship is satisfied by God.

Let God complete you. Let God satisfy your need for a true and lasting relationship. Let Him be your Best Friend. Let Him fill the God-shaped hole in your heart.

“Lord God, I come to You because I know that I am incomplete without You. May I always recognize my deep desire for Your love and not make do with anything less.”

Dear God,

fill this gaping hole of mine,
let me be worthy of your love,
and be awakened from this senseless slumber.

Watawata Wonderful World.

2008-02-03T20:53:00.000+08:00

Right Here Waiting - Richard Marx

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesnt stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I cant get near you now

Oh, cant you see it baby
Youve got me going crazy

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if Im with you
Ill take the chance

Oh, cant you see it baby
Youve got me going crazy

+++++
Praise god!
CNY is here !

Im selling my pool stuff.

Black Instroke 2x4 -$200
Gino Ferrari J/B- $80 .

Call me if your interested. Need cash.

++++

Am i the only one who thinks this is so bleeding catchy ?
The darn song makes me go whistling in a club. hehe.

G-Slide (Tourbus)- Lil Mama

Laissez-faire

2008-01-24T23:33:00.000+08:00

let do .

Ambition

2008-01-23T20:21:00.000+08:00

What if you want to reach for the stars, but your arms are terribly short ?

Taking the first step is indeed hard,
Especially when i have a phobia of failure,
when others strip me of something i pride myself to be.

I should really just spark the commitment plug and take that ever so difficult first step.

Book the bloody SATs.
or
Start writing the essay.

Start already jielong,
Move already.

The Greatest Weakness Of Man

2008-01-18T00:07:00.000+08:00

" Oh you of little faith, why do you doubt ? "
(Matthew 14:29-31)

We do what we have to do ,
So we can do what we want to do .

Being stoned makes me think more.
Paradoxical.

North Goes South

2008-01-17T23:21:00.000+08:00

Time Goes Forward, Progress Heads Backwards Up North.

"KAMPUNG PULAU MELAKA (Malaysia) - MALAYSIA'S Islamist opposition party called on non-Muslims on Thursday to back its election campaign to apply strict sharia law, including amputations and stonings, for the country's Muslims.

Parti Islam se-Malaysia (PAS) is trying to broaden its appeal beyond the predominantly Muslim heartland at the next election, which is expected by political experts to be called by end-March and to be fought partly on the issue of rising street crime.

'The people want the best and there is nothing better than Islam,' Nik Aziz Nik Mat, 77, told Reuters after morning prayers at his home in the largely rural northeast state of Kelantan, ruled by PAS since 1990.

An Egyptian-educated scholar, Nik Aziz said non-Muslims had nothing to fear from strict sharia punishments, known as hudud, and a lot to gain from them, especially Malaysia's large and wealthy ethnic Chinese minority.

'It is more important for the Chinese to accept hudud laws because those who steal do not steal from the poor,' said Mr Nik Aziz, who wore a skullcap, white shirt and sarong. 'Who steals from the poor?'"

Adapted frm asiaone.com/Reuters.

This newspaper report committed arson in my belly as i read it.

Did i hear it right ?

To bring back the sharia law, to return to the old days of stoning, amputations, and other inhumane punishments which clearly violates the basic rights of humans ?

The article actually goes on to elaborates the merits of hudd laws, and the amputation of the hands of theives, citing that it serves as a way to identify proponents of such breaches of the law. While it is true that such an extreme punishment would serve as an immense deterrent to those who tempt to cheat the long arms of justice, whatever happened to the concept of forgiveness ?
Is there no longer for a place for it ? Must one man's moment of folly haunt him for the rest of his life ?

It is laughable, to expect a political party and a scholar, supposedly elites and leaders of society, role models, intellectuals to suggest that crimes like adultery warrants a punishment of death, death that rapes the culprit of any form of respect. Such ideas and beliefs are nothing less than extremist, and HAS NO PLACE for society this day .

Is man not fallible no more ?
It sickens me to see such flawed statements to be used by terrorists, to attempt to convince others to support their cause. To imply that all ethnic Chinese in Malaysia are rich and impervious to the notion of poverty is flat out wrong. To say that no one steals from the poor is another ludicrous idea that fails to consider the many governments in the world, who are doing so indiscriminately at the expense of the many millions living in poverty.

The last time i checked, Malaysia did not come in first among countries who were the least corrupt. They do, though, have a shouting chance in the antonymous contest.

Resignation does seem like the right option chosen right now.
Which would you choose ?

To be a health minister ?
or
To risk your manhood amputated ?

Gay

2008-01-17T23:11:00.000+08:00

Till date, the word Gay still has negative connotations to it. To be called gay, is widely recognized (in spore context anyway) and tantamount to being labeled weak, sissy and freakish .
Yet homosexuals still use this word in such negative contexts.

A black man offered himself to a white and said, " lynch me ."

Today I Go Swim, An The Riva.,

2008-01-16T19:55:00.001+08:00

Its the mind.

2008-01-16T00:12:00.000+08:00

Even as the stars align,
its not one that takes another to shine.
Is it her i really want,
or is it just my cranky little mind.

2008-01-14T23:13:00.000+08:00

when your loved ones fail you, turn to god.

Cheesecake Crave.

2008-01-14T19:04:00.000+08:00

I am having a cheesecake craving rightnow.
And as part of my unwritten resolution to be spontaneous in life,
I WILL satisfy my craving TODAY . (Which has got 5 Hours left in it).after my tuition ends at ten
Any Cheesecake Cafe/Secret Receipe will do.
Anyone up for it ?

Dont make me do what my head is giving me ideas to.
it will be a mistakemistake

Social Justice and Meritocracy

2008-01-13T21:51:00.001+08:00

pure meritocracy is incoherent because, without redistribution, one generation's successful individuals would become the next generation's embedded caste, hoarding the wealth they had accumulated.

2008-01-13T21:22:00.000+08:00

the love parents give to a child,
like nothing else in the world.

Party @ Arena

2008-01-13T04:35:00.000+08:00

Its amazing how sober i am despite just reaching home.
Tonight serves as a reminder of the perks of singlehood. AWESOME.
And how wonderful the rest of the trees in the forest are.
Pics will be up, after a short nap.

Excellent night guys.
Hello , miss i-always-meet-and-dance-with-in-clubs.
I like fate.

Mistakes

2008-01-12T13:24:00.000+08:00

I hear the deranged old man say,
beauty is like the water that flows away.
In the wind the poppy fields sway,
and the girl appears before me,
is she a fay ?

Rings and spirals show the age,
knowledge sets you free,
from the tall imposing cage.
Rum and spirits trickle down the floor.
Sorrow and guilt,
permeates through my pores.

The broken compass,
amidst the tall withered grass,
With giants roaming the land,
is there any place for the dwarves.

My footprints tell the time and date,
to look back,
or to leave it to fate.
Keep your eyes on the beam ahead ,
of splendor and might.
For the a turn of the head,
and you just might lose the light.

Follow the heart,
with your enslaved body.
The dying old man,
too late to redeem his folly.

J.L
2008

Beauty Is Only Skin Deep.

2008-01-12T09:25:00.000+08:00

Promiscuous Girl
Wherever you are
I’m all alone
And its you that I want

[N:] Promiscuous Boy
I'm calling your name
But you're driving me crazy
The way you're making me wait

Promiscuous Girl
You're teasing me
You know what I want
And I got what you need

[N:] Promiscuous Boy
We're one in the same
So we don't gotta play games no more

Polemication

2008-01-09T22:23:00.000+08:00

this post is gonna be utterly random and disorganized cause im headbangging to "Buck in here " as i type this.

the first issue of mypaper was impressive if anything, holding that thick stack of paper which was almost equivalent to the whole of the Straits Times, i wondered whether they would be able to keep up with it.
Today's issue showed otherwise.

So heres some of the interesting things that happened around the world today.

Malaysia banned immigration of Indians (unskilled ones)

Equities of companies that process and manufacture palm oil are market beaters and will continue to be. With dollars heading southwards, unrest in OPEC countries, oil prices hovering at the $100 mark, the potential for alternative sources of fuel is immense.

STI goes down due to the high rate of unemnployment in US, coupled to the deflating US currency and poor market sentiments.

Malaysia cancels rationing of oil. -> this incidently sparked the increase in share prices of agrifood/indofood or smth like that.

Means testing to be largely introduced in the near future. I pray hard that they have a solution to the complexities of calculating one's means. Income and Housing , are variables to be used as reported. The obvious shortfalls would be that big housing does not equal wealth. Many families adopt loans and mortgages for this housing. Another complication would be the number of family members one's personal income may be used to feed. Then again, many rich families choose to live in public housing, just go look at the abundance of sports cars parked at Kembagan (Source: Clarence Chao)

More ERPs to be errected outside city ares to redirect traffic and ease cogestion. Outer boundaries was what the paper called it.
I hope they realize that despite being a year older in 2008, singapore did not GROW BIGGER in terms of land mass. Come 2010 ERP's to be constructed at Boon Lay to redirect traffic away from congested roads to the city perhaps ?

Tiger Airways offering 15000 free tickets to KL. Tempting, but this news is backdated, and most likely to be snapped up by aunties looking for a cheap getaway by now. Anyway, the tuition schedule does not allow me to go overseas for a day even.

US looks like they might be getting their first black president.
What an advancement for the black from the old days of civil wars and slavery.

++++

Pretty impressive, 10 days into the new year and i;ve yet to break any resolutions.
Been feeling abject the past few days, think its due to the overdose of Jay Chou's songs like Tui Hou, Feng, An Jing and Cai Hong on my PSP.

Its time to put in clubbing tunes and be that guy who loves to partyyyy.

4am, Clarke Quay Bridge.
Break-dawncers getting on it with each other.

A girl trying to pose with taufik.
I have no idea why he choses to look here although the girl's friend is taking a photo too.
There can only be two reasons.
1. He likes my 6120 over her Sony Digicam. Leftover anti-japanese sentiments from WWII perhaps.
2. He's gay. (Happy.)

I'd like to think its reason 2.
It was such a thought which propelled me to walk away instead of going up to take a photo anyway.
Later kenna grab in the backside how.

If you have already noticed, the photos are incorrectly orientated.
I apologize for that, i'm bad with photographs when im tipsy.
If you havent already noticed, aces.
Lets go for drinks this weekend.

moOOOOS!

Dont bother lying to yourself, you have no damn idea what ur doing.
Stupid, stupid girl.

Big Brown Eyes

2008-01-08T19:51:00.000+08:00

Today,
Shed a tear not.
Smile,
for the touch-me-not.

Dont miss her,
for she has always been inside your heart.
Hope not,
for she not.

+++

Im exhausted. Day 2 ang i'm almost breaking down from all the work and things at home.

Looking at her new photos makes me feel better somehow.
The feeling is like .... squeezing my heart, till its about to burst.

Yet its better.

Being despair always, is definitely better than being hopeful, only to plunge back into despair.

Hope not.

Drunkard.

2008-01-07T23:07:00.000+08:00

Spoils the day, my life really.
Sometimes you really need to just hit the fuck off.
A man without ambition is no more than roaming flesh.

Overseas.
Away
Whatever.

Scotch Mist On The Rocks

2008-01-05T19:53:00.000+08:00

The entire week has BUSY written all over it.
I cant believe how many assignments i've undertook to make up for the 1k i wasted being wasted in the month of dec.

Hell, i didnt even earn 1k then.
At least money comes easy now, at the expense of my sleep and leisure of course.
But then, sleeping has always been a waste of time aint it ?

On another note, things at our ever-competitive neighbours up north have been going downhill since the hindraf saga. We have tammy, and they sent their health minister.
You cant really fault him, IT DOES AID HEALTH.

ops. Pardon the puns.

I wonder what papers in other countries write about Spore.
Darn this place is freaggin boring. No sex scandals, no riots, nothing more exciting than a supersized ferris wheel.

And the news just talked about US unemployment rate being on an all time high.

I wonder whether jumping off the flyer would be the 'IN' thing for the year.

Byebye 2007.
Hello Recession.

I didnt wanna go to school ten years ago.

2008-01-02T23:15:00.000+08:00

10 Years Ago,
I would have been paralyzed in my bed as the clock struck ten. Tomorrow, school re-opens. Did i pack my bag ? Did i do my holiday homework ? Gosh. Schools scary.
Too scary for that 1.5m boy with knee high socks dressed in his taonan white shirt and sky blue shorts. Too scary.

First work day of the year went peacefully.
Office was as per normal, extremely busy, and before i knew it, 5 o clock struck.
Tuition with my acjc student went extremely well, its bubbly and fun student council students ( pardon the repetition, which i strongly fault my students for ) like her which makes me even think of teaching as a career.
I cant believe JFJL is saying this, but im sincerely hoping that she does well for her supplementary paper tomorrow!
Oh gosh, what a change from that mercenary teacher who complained about the every extra minute he stayed for a lesson. Now i'm having my students chase me away telling me they're tired. haha!

First Post Of The New Year

2008-01-01T07:39:00.000+08:00

Despite being awake for 25 hours now, for the 4th time or so in two weeks, the necessity to put these thoughts down into paper surpassed the desire for sleep. I realized this tendency of mine, to feel really empty and unfufilled after partying all night. Sitting in the train watching expressionless commuters proceed to work, whilst i'm heading back home, makes me aware of the reality of things. Its not all carefree and about fun, or myself anymore. The world has increased dramatically in size along with age. Around us are people whom are struck with poverty, illnesses, death, addiction, of that lost of one's self worth and ambition. Losing a 18 month old relationship pales unimaginably in comparison to the problems of the world, no matter how deep or pain-staking it was.

Almost 1k gone from my binges and impulses just in 2 weeks. And nothing material was bought with that money. It was simply, squandered.

On a positive note, i met up with some of my long lost friends, made a hell lotta new ones , whose names or numbers i can only guess, with the exception of a select few of course. Huge philo and life discussions were 'conducted', and it was a wonderful and stylish manner in which to end the year.

Im gonna cut this shot cause my brain is complaining now.
An additional resolution :
To quit ciggging and excessive partying.

This going out to find a replacement thing is unhealthy. Firstly, it wont be the same, secondly, I realize that i have been such an ego centric person that i cant imagine what things i do to others may affect them.
Change never impossible, just difficult.

In the year 2008, I pray for world peace, a reduction in global warming, no recessions, a booming singapore economy, a dwarfing standard of living, harmony and health in the family, me succeeding in my uni and scholarship interviews, and (i just fell asleep. ) ok, then good rest,work,play.

Larkin Step - Ling86

2007-12-28T19:45:00.000+08:00

What a beauty. Love it.
Support her at Art Cafe, Esplanade.

----
God he turned and walked away,
Couldn't think of what to say,
When plane engines fall through your roof;
And I broke my knee while walking down the street that I live in,
While noone was passing by.

Life moves along, and it trickles down the cheeks of every beautiful boy;
Time comes along, and it breaks every bone in your spine.

And into the flight of night,
Insomnia strikes, and hopes alight,
Set ourselves up to fall;
So we stargaze and we write down all the things that we'll do;
Fall into the river, our pockets full of stone,
Full of stone.
----

New Year Resolution

2007-12-28T17:58:00.000+08:00

1. That GIC Scholarship. GET IT.
2. Get into the game. 20 Yrs Old, you should have something substantial to your name.
3. Be assertive. End point in mind. Quit get boggled by unworthy things.

Year 2008

2007-12-28T17:26:00.000+08:00

Dear Jielong,

I have spoken to you since the day you were born, but to actually write you a letter is definitely a virgin experience. Yet, with what happened lately in mind, such an exercise would be of utmost necessity. Writing a letter to yourself may seem plain weird , or even threading on the line of insanity to some, but lets not dwell on that. This letter is about you. I want you to notice that everyone aspires to be someone else in life. Be it a rockstar, a renouned soccer player (or basketball, or pool, or badminton, whichever u fancy) , or the next bill gates. Whatever it is, people aspire to be successful. Yet no one realizes, that even the most successful or influential person in the world dies with regrets. No one, ever, aspire to simply be someone that dies happy. That is a thought which is to be pondered deeply upon. In this endless pursuit of success, and whatever we define it to be, we lose our way at some point in time. For most of us, we dont look back and try to find the right path to re-embark on. We simply get pushed forward and keep walking.
There are others who upon stumbling a form or hardship or other, back off, and simply give up on the entire journey. You are such a person.
Life is a journey fraught with bends ascents descents and sometimes, the road barely seems visible. If your lucky, you get someone who lights up the footpath for you. Sometimes, someone comes along and holds your hand in the dark. Other times, you walk alone. Anti-liverpool aside, it is those times where you show your true character. We dont know who we can trust in times of luxury and comfort. In adversity, true friends, true love shows. There are times where you have to brave the thick dense jungle, sometimes you get cuts and bruises, sometimes you are so accustomed to hardship that you breeze through it unscathed. Then comes times where you forget to look around and enjoy the breathtaking scenery because your eyes are fixated on that foothpath, in fear that it disappears.
What your journey is like depends on you. Like they say, Experience is what you make of it.

You are more than what you're showing now. Buck up already.
Life is not merely enjoying the moment, nor is it about the constant gaze into faraway lands. It is only with an end in mind, will you be able to fully appreciate the amazing skies. For a man without ambition is worse than the blind. At least the blind have a destination in mind.

Learn from the past, not get boggled down by it.
You are gifted and blessed.

Aspire to live a life without regrets, a life filled with smiles, respect, and love.
When life throws you with the heaviest baggage, hold it up with the meanest smile you can conjure.
When life throws you in to deep waters, dont give up threading, the shore is near.
When life baffles you, reflect.
When life throws you into the unknown, use that compass inside you.

Use it right now.

All the best,
Logic.

Melli Meehli Christmas.

2007-12-26T19:02:00.000+08:00

As i mentioned earlier. I pee-ed out $300 bucks in one night. Lavish, if anything.
First met up with Chao and his new family members, Benny and the cousin. (whom Chao is soo NOT INTERESTED . )
It was pool fusion and then Loof at Odeon. Quite a nice place, prices slightly on the steep side though. Hanged out with til 12. It was entertaining having a Benny around, hes like a 15 yr old Chao, for the lack of a better description. Watching him getting nervous about getting ID-ed just brings back fond memories for me.
I still remember the days where my friends and i ran around Katong Shopping Centre , trying to find a LAN shop that could fit us, and the pool craze... before we finally moved on to bars.

Met up with Eddy at 3, and we settled on this awesome homely place on Circular Rd, 6AM.
Met some awesome people, got really wasted with Addison . Which really made Christmas feel christmasy .

My future hangout
6am. We stayed till almost 8 actually.

By 7am. All he could muster was - blowing kisses, lying on the floor, stumbling.

The Ah Hong look-alike that sang great, and got wasted with us.
Its a pity i forgot to take a photo with this Bar Owner called Alan who cheered with me drink after drink. Cheerrios !

Jasmine engrossssed in her songs.
and she never gets drunk.

Drinks from Loof!

Wasted, and yes, she's forever on the mike.

Damage : 1Chivas Kneat, 1 Hein, 1J Tig, 1 Borbon, 2 Teq Shots, 1 Balieys, 1 Bottle Charnnoday
Have a Haweeeeeee New Year !

P.s : Addison, please dont post my an jing video.

Drinking Kills Your Brain Cells

2007-12-26T17:54:00.000+08:00

I already feel dumber. Having to pause for 10 seconds before typing my first word simply illustrates the case. Christmas was quite a blast , and it blew up my wallet too. We ended up spending around $300 to pee more. If you get what i mean . All these festivities have served its purpose : a large increase in people's spending.
I wonder if anyone actually sits down to think about the holiday and what it really means. A video on youtube : Sexy Beijing " Sexy Christmas " featured the christmas phenonmenon in China, showing how globalization and americanization has extended its tentacles to even things like religious holidays. A survey showed this stunning fact : Christmas = Shopping, Christmas Tree, Santa. and thats it.

How many people even realize that Hanukkah, the jewish festival of lights, incidently falls on the same day ? What i have just shown is that the current reality of things is that religion is tied with political/economic agendas, and has always been. In essence, religion is does not only serve its purpose of spiritual aid and the worship of gods, but it is also a reflection of the needs and norms of the current society .

"To be happy, is to be contented. "
This by itself is a largely debatable. It is actually one of the teachings in Buddism , a religion prevalent in India. Lets look back at the history of India and how this 'teaching' simultaneously serves as a social leash. Class systems existed in ancient India, (and still subtly practised in modern day) , there were the Intellectuals/Rulers , Warriors, Traders/Industralists/Merchants, Farmers , and the infamous Undesirables (please wiki yourself if u want their authentic tags). Everyone had a class, and a role to play in society. It was what Aristotle called the division of labour, if you will. Born in a class, one would never have the chance to break out of it, nor fall in love with someone of another class. Such a system kills the notion of freedom and meritocracy we enjoy now. Fate does not lie in one's own hand.
How can such a system work ? You may ask,

Religion answered : Be contented with what you have, for that is the only way to be happy.

and religion handcuffed the potential societal unrest.

Can we move a step further and dismiss religion as nothing but a mere fable sewn with laws of ancient civilizations that serve no godly purpose other than the smooth running of their lands ?

Another question would be to ask , Is happiness no more than mere perception? If there was a switch for contentment, and i am were to turn it on at this very instant ; would that grant me happiness ?

Or

Is fate really in our hands ? Is there fairness in the world ?

Or

Is contentment really a pitiful consolation for the underachievers ?

I remember being told by my primary school teachers ,
Its 90 % Hard Work, 5% Intelligence/Genes , 5% Luck.

and then, I Believed.

Recollecting the moment now, if they said 90% genes, who would have worked hard at all ?
(not that i did in primary school anyway)

Aristotle once said, to have a good life, you got to have good children, good looks, wealth, and a fair bit of luck.

Not so much acquired traits eh ?

Genes determine what we look like, how easily we learn things, our emotional intelligence, how long we live.

Okay , i may be sweeping it across the board now, but the fact remains that our lifes remain largely predestined. Only the choices we make in our lives are seemingly within our control. Yet, our environment growing up wields such extensive influence on us , that mindsets, values, fears and desires have been 'implanted'. Are choices we make really independent anymore ?

Hangover Christmas

2007-12-25T18:37:00.000+08:00

sweet sweet xmas =) Pics up once SOMEONE sends them to me. Haha.

Man Utd V Everton

2007-12-23T19:30:00.000+08:00

Do not follow your heart, for it is not our hearts that separates us from animals, its our minds.

Jielong
23 Dec 2007.

Sleeping Pills

2007-12-23T00:44:00.000+08:00

Been reading this book on the history and ideas of great economic thinkers, the bundle of Adam Smith, Keynes , wealth of nations, Marx, Supply side, ... the list goes on, and i fell asleep on page 14. I wonder why sleeping pills come in pill form anyway.

2007-12-23T00:35:00.000+08:00

It is peculiar to the nature of man, to be inquisitve into the causes of the events they see, some more, some less, but all men so much, as to be curious in the search of the casues of their own good and evil fortune. - thomas hobbes

2007-12-21T20:07:00.000+08:00

i'm back. just slept. had a NIGHTMARE.
so i'm not gonna blog. Still traumatized by how real it seemed.
Gosh. I hate having no one to lead me the way in S'pore.

About You Now. (no more.)

2007-12-15T10:05:00.000+08:00

Closure. I tried, i failed. And i'm proud that i tried.
At least for this part of my life, i have no regrets, simply because i did everything that was within my reach. There are parts of our lives that are beyond our control. For those, we have no choice but to face it with a smile. It a long way to learn to live a life filled with no regrets, a life filled with spontanity.

Going to taiwan in about 4 hours now, hopefully, if everything turns fine.
Parents had a big quarrel last night,coupled with my emotional state,
i almost did the silliest stuff in earth.
But at least i held my faith and didnt call her. She;s someone elses now anyway. And that should really be respected. Something i learnt, when a woman has a change of heart, its gone.

I hope that when i come back, things in my life would be put into perspective. Other aspects of live would be explored, goals would be set, life would be attempted to be made more wholesome.

-Essay
-Do well in a pool competition
-Earn $$
-Make sure tuition kids excel
-Closer to family ?
-Closer to friends ?
-Things to blog about (elitism, religion-made up for SEP reasons, psychology-man's way of thinking, body language, the quest of life.)

Finally. Closure. and i like god/fate/coincidences.
Dj playing this song at the fountain, made it seem like we were in the mtv.

=)
Wait for my presents.

Have a Merry Christmas, and a wonderful life guys.

1) What is this song about?

——————————————————–
I was dumb/I was wrong/I let you down/but I know how I feel about you now.

2) There is a breakdown of relationships which accentuates the urban ‘despair’. It’s too late when people realise there’s a mountain in-between. How do you think we can level the mountain?

———————————————————
3) Can we bring yesterday back around. Is that possible? What must we do to bring yesterday back around?

——————————————————–
4) Everything changes ” all the cities and faces”. There’s one thing I am sure about. Can we trust our feelings? Do we follow our heart or do we trust our brains?

———————————————————
Not a day passed me by/when I don’t think about you/ And there’s no moving on/coz I know youre the one/ and I can’t be without you.

5) Why then do we let go our love? What can make us hold on to our love? Why do we find ourselves weak, especially at times we need to be strong?

Emotions. Desire. Hurt. Sanity.

2007-12-13T22:26:00.001+08:00

I almost made my student cry.
I realize i suck at keeping my personal matters/ emotions in check.
Detachment for goodness sake.
Please dont keep me wondering. That is what drives people insane.
Anger and sadness is ten times better than being kept wondering.
fuck alriight.

Emotions. Desire. Hurt. Sanity.

2007-12-13T22:26:00.000+08:00

I Can't Make You Love Me.

2007-12-09T20:23:00.000+08:00

George Micheals/ Bonnie Raitt - I Cant Make You Love Me.

I believe love transcends religion, race, gender, backgrounds.
I believe love, diffuses all problems.
Wont you believe it with me.

2007-12-09T18:09:00.000+08:00

iu cant go there. i should stop.,
stop thinkign. detach frm those feelings.
begging would ntever help.
stop thinkijng.
stop.
its over.
dont fall into it.
dont lose that sanity.
donmt do stuff that hurts yourself or others.
there is mior,e . detachf yourself from those .
be happyy.
be happy.
be happy.
be happy.
be hapyy.
be happy.
girls.oncethey made up their minds. its onve.r,.
shedoe esnt look back.
neither should u .
dont go there.
dont
treaserueew what yoyr have now.
family.
dont regret anymre
move.on
move omn
duistract yourself.
stop hoping
stop
stop.
stop.
stop.
stop
stop
stop
stop
stop
stopl
stopd
stopsfd
stopd
stop
fptop
stp
stop
stppfdspaFEE 'OE
jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjodsf/sss/stop
stop
stop
happy.
more.
cobntent
move
move
on'
.detach
move on
fuifuolment
ambition
syuccess.
firne3
d
friend
s
not cojmign back
acceptanc
e
stop
stop
stopp
stop
stop
stop
stopo
stop
stop
stop
swtopo
stop
srotp
tps
stop
stop
,.

The Overcompensation Theory

2007-12-07T10:02:00.000+08:00

One observable characteristic of human behavior is that we tend to 'overcompensate' as we try to portray an image or impression that is inherently conflicting with our actual or real inner selves. This is probably due to the fact that we are consciously trying to control and tamper with our subconsciousness / body language, thus revealing conflicting signals.

Take the game of poker for example, A gets dealt an average hand of cards.
He exclaims and inherits a 'smug' look on his face for the rest of the round.

Abeit exaggerated, nevertheless we know that A , is actually bluffing.
A classic example of overcompensation. Although detractors may actually argue otherwise, going on by saying that A is actually trying to bluff the bluff, (i hope i still have you at this moment) , that he HAS got a good hand, and is trying to mislead his opponents. Of course. this may lead up to the scenario of having A bluffing so B would think that A is bluffing so B would think that A is bluffing.. .. . .. . .

Every instant in our lives, people are trying to be what they arent. People are trying to PORTRAY something. Which leads to this theory being observable almost everywhere.

3 am .
Outside MOS for example.
2 ladies stand by the roadside, smoking, gussied up in mini skirts and showing ample cleavage. Their faces fair like porcelain from their make-up.

These traits, coupled with that long shoulder length hair, seem to accentuate their feminineness, yet you get the vibe that they are actually not females.

The overcompensation theory explains our organic ability to detect (IMOW) transsexuals. (Poorly transformed ones anyway) . They overcompensated. And we feel it.
(not IT, in sexual terms, but the vibe, please)
_________________________

Book of the Day!

Small is Beautiful - E F Schumacher.

SLK's Funniest Animals.

2007-12-05T22:16:00.000+08:00

Featuring Chao-Ge and his peeple's albow.
Highlights of the Bintan 06 Trip

Damn. I'm taking videos every sat soccer from now on.
JogA!

2007-12-03T19:14:00.001+08:00

Very sick.

My Virgin Gambling Experience.

2007-12-02T21:28:00.000+08:00

It was the idle shopping in parkway.
It was the lack of excitement in my life.
My heart has been strolling for too long now.

And where could you possibly get excitement from ?

Picking up a random girl on the streets ?
Or.
Singapore Pools.?

Of course, the only embarrassment you get from Singapore Pools is when the old counter lady says " AH BOY AH! Shade properly la. Cannot use pen "

And looking at the odds now (liverpool odds has gone up. ) , i think i'm gonna lose my bet for Liverpool to win H-H, 3-0 , 3,2 Goals.

Strange how last minute changes in the odds usually reflects how the match ends up.

.hmmm.

Well, at least my escape to Taiwan is coming soon.
Come 14 Dec, and i'll be at this magical place, 10 odd degrees, filled with taiwanese babes
(who, IMHO are by far , the best in ASIA ), and away from all thats holding me here.
And also, i'll be visiting my favourite shop!

Its called Duty Free Shop.

I Looooovvveee How The New Vodka Bottles Look Like.
Simply Collectable.

Slurps.
Taiwanese Girls, and Bourbon.

Quotes from the Heart.

2007-12-02T11:56:00.001+08:00

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with y our smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

This is Football.

2007-12-01T21:50:00.000+08:00

Conservation

2007-11-29T22:20:00.000+08:00

Just read some excellent writing and musings from this book i borrowed from the library, entitled "The Reason Of Things" by Grayling. Thought i write in down for future reference and your pleasure.

It is a mistake to hang on to the past merely because it is past. Things- buildings, paintings and old furniture- have lifespans just as humans do, and when they get old and broken, dirty and inconvenient, decrepit and even dangerous, we should let them go. The past becomes a burden if we have too much piety towards it.Salvaging some things is an inhibition to progress and a barrier to new ideas and fresh ways.

Beauty

2007-11-29T21:27:00.000+08:00

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder ?

Very true.
Just as how many values and beliefs in life cannot be judged , or unanimously agreed across the board, beauty, is simply subjective.

While acknowledging that, findings have shown that we already have the notion and idea of beauty implanted in our minds since birth. A study involving showing babies pictures of random people proved that there actually is, a standard form of beauty.
We already know the features of beauty!
+++

I saw lesbians on the train the other day.
They were in their early twenties, average, chinese, and seemed like they were heading home after a day out. Being ,well....jielong-ish... (and i like how that sounds ) , i was naturally drawn to them and was inquisitive and attentive, of their movement.

Unlike many other (perceived) lesbian couples, they did not attempt to conceal their sexuality by having one dressing up , looking guy-ish or manly. They were two, very normal looking females, simply in love with each other.

The way their eyes beamed and connected with each other aroused the reminisence of love within me. It was sweet, enviable and contemptously natural.

It was then, that i realised, that belief systems we have, the ideas implanted into us from antiquity,though old, weren't necessary the real McCoy. This barrage of information we are exposed to in our lightspeed environments led us , or rather our brains, to look for shortcuts.

Expensive= Good quality
Age-Defying= Truth
Success= Wealth

are just the mere few shortcuts in our boundless minds. Shortcuts, which as the name suggests, allows us to make quick decisions without giving it much thought. There is simply too much to do. There are too many options. Busy is the new buzz-word. Even the phrase (buzz-word), has an inclination to the bustling movement of bees, insects. We simply do not stop (enough), to think, and ask , why ?

No longer does society remember the contribution of the great thinkers; Aristotle , Euripedes, Epictetus, Nietzche who searched for the answer, to the reason of things ,or briliant minds who laid the foundation and broke through barriers in science and physics- Archimedes, Newton, Plato, Galileo, Kepler, Pascal, Bernouli, Boyle, Young, Franklin, Dalton, Faraday.

Cash is king. Success is determined by how fat your wallets are, how big your office is, how many houses do you have, your net worth, your car, your credentials, your status. Not, not, not contribution, not impact, not saving lives. ( Even med school students are there for the money, for the job stability, for the TITLE, and not, for the aching desire to heal and save ).

"To take a step back, is to take a big step forward."
Jielong.

When i see a hot babe on the subway, i stop reading, and i glance for 4 seconds.
When i see a baby on the subway, no more reading for me.

(and GOSH, after i wrote that, i pictured this baby served in the middle of my subway sandwich. DARN my student's cannibal compostion., )

Cheers.
Have an excellent weekend

2007-11-23T09:47:00.000+08:00

The heart soon forget what the eye sees not.

Sometimes man was designed to yearn and hanker for what he does not have.
This naturally causes discontentment, and contributes to his inability to treasure his possessions.
Yet, it was this drive and constant craving for more, which has led to progress, be it technological, economic, or societal.

Its not about how hard you can punch, but how many puches you can take.
-Rocky Balboa.

Cheers.

2007-11-11T12:30:00.000+08:00

I found the perfect song that explains my sentiments the moment i woke up in the morning.

"I'm better off without you
More than you, More than you know
I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
Now I'm picking up the pieces
from spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
The day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you."

sweet.
Happier than ever.
I think all that alcohol cleared every damn thing inside me.
This feels unusually wonderful.

Hello world.

2007-10-31T21:47:00.000+08:00

On God, Global Warming, and That Faced-Book.

Another one of those incredibly honest yet tear jerking posts (for me. So put back that tissue box please). Till date, I have 132 friends on facebook. For those who have utterly no idea what face book is , there are just 2 possibilities.

1)You have a totally new email account that is NOT, flooded by invitations.
2)You hail from a third world country. But DO NOT FRET ! With one laptop per child , face book is on the way ! Yes. U heard it. NOT food, NOT proper sanitation (which is responsible for like 1/3 of the diseases people suffer from there) NOT clean water. But, (I can almost hear ur breath being taken away) FACEBOOK!

TADA!
The solution to poverty, hunger, and illnesses.

Dying of thirst ?
Send your bony african friend a BEER!

What? He's not breathing ?
SPANK him , still doesnt work ?
There still other options ! b($U*@ slap, dry hump, punch, or even (wow!!!) SUCKER puch him!

Still Doesnt Work ?

Bo Pian. Give him a hug ?

Sorry. I digress.
This happens when i havent blogged for so long. All the material just comes spilling out like water out of the merlion, or vomit out of a drunk spg, whichever is more pleasing to imagine.

For concerned friends, my absence is NOT, because i fell into a well. (contrary to popular belief)
For more concerned friends, i did NOT DIE, falling into a well, and NO you are not in my will.

So i watched An Inconvenient Truth, a movie about global warming, by Al Gore.
I give it 5/5 stars. Simply because i.....

Haha. never could finish a post.

2007-08-30T22:32:00.000+08:00

He was an only child. Growing up, he had no lack of parental care, maybe even to the point of being excessive. It made him feel oppressed. It made him feel the need to assert himself, his independence, his individuality. He was a man with a point to prove. Nurtured in such a well sheltered enviroment also caused him to be fragile and weak, which, as he grew up, was covered by numerous habits aimed at proving otherwise, The void in his heart paralysed his character. He lacked the social ability to develop brotherly bonds with others. He was alone. And he will be.

2007-08-01T00:12:00.000+08:00

MY bIRDAY.

Pretty Card She Made ME.

Your father must have been a thief. Why did he steal those stars in the skies and put them into your eyes ?

Chili Crab + man tou at parisss international buffet. Which gave an awesome serving of abalone, sashimi, oysters, shark, unagi. the list goes on.

Its called a trade-off. Big present ? SMALL CAKE.

Picture is fit to scale. Yes. Thats my birdday cake..... Truly befitting of ... well... only birds.

2007-07-30T20:15:00.000+08:00

The Day I Over-Clocked my Brains.

So it turned out that "pretending to work on the computer, whilst playing a game, and simultaneously listening to an audiobook on economics " gives you a headache. I learnt the hard way. August arrived in the blink of an eye. My girlflam (please do not dig deep into its sticky nature, nor think about how deep you have to dig.) inches closer day by day to the demons that reside in the university. They are called boys.
Money seemed to have hit me like a cult ideology. 4 tuitions and counting. I wonder how long more i can sustain this drive of mine. Good news though, i just got an extremely lucrative assignment that earns me 50 bucks an hour simply talking about my favourite subject, physics. Which brings me to my long term plans. To get a scholarship, and study physics somewhere at UK. Yup, no more medicine for me ( at least thats what the professors at NUS think anyway) . Wherever the wind Blows me to , i guess.
Whatever it is, i'm pretty sure it will be orgasmic.

2007-07-21T22:07:00.000+08:00

Hopefully i'll get inspired by my own post.
Just came back from an utterly demoralizing tuition (too-wee-tion) session at a place not far from mine. The culprit was a 14/15 ? year old PRC kid, who , in his own words , was 'too lazy to use his brain' . In the end, the bulk of the lesson was spent trying to convince him that all that he is studying now, actually affects his future. Of course, for a person like me with negligible linguistic ability or charisma, it became an uninspiring talk which even led me to doubt myself.
When asked with questions about the future, or whether he wanted a better life. The answer would always be something like " i dont care about the future, it is now that is important.... "

what a fatal mistake many people ( like me ) make.

anyway. chubby (its hubby, with a C. ) just called. Looks like i'm just not fated to finish a post.

2007-07-09T22:29:00.000+08:00

me :" darling. want a present ? "
her: " yea ? "
*me lets go an astounding fart.*

ahh, courtship.

2007-07-04T22:35:00.000+08:00

GUESS WHY THERES A DENGUE OUTBREAK.

Mosquito Killer's Birthday is Coming. And Guess (yes, again ) , what he got for his birthday courtesy of miss muffins. (who , by the way, specifically told me to mention this in my blog. )

A PSP!
Sincere Thanks! to the clubber girl.

PS : Pardon the irony in this post.

2007-06-22T23:24:00.001+08:00

14 Flawless Rings

On a summer's day long, long ago
I fell in love and I'll never know
Just what it was that made me feel
So drawn to her, what the appeal
That set my pulses so to race
Whenever I gazed upon that face
I'll never know the how's and why's
I lost my heart to those hazel brown eyes
But when I got that long sought kiss
I knew I'd found my Perfect Miss
My muffin girl from down the lane
And I'll never let her go again

For how could I describe our love?
Romantic love, all hearts and flowers
No way to count the days and hours
Spent in self-indulgent wishes
And thoughts of long awaited kisses
Of sweet embraces, tender sighs
And gazing into love filled eyes
Oh yes, it is that kind of love

Or, is it yet the love of passion
The ecstasy that knows no ration
That shuddering nerve-tingling feeling
The climax with your senses reeling
The wondrous joy when you discover
That sweet surrender to your lover
Oh yes, it's that kind of love too.

Or even yet a love that grows
One that cares and one that knows
That sees beyond the outer skin
Into the person deep within
That loves the spirit and the soul
The inner self that makes the whole
Built on trust and empathy
A love you know was meant to be

The love we share is all these things
A love that has no need of rings
*hint hint!

L.L

Happy Anniversary. 23/06/07

2007-06-22T23:17:00.000+08:00

Thank you for arguing. how apt.

One reason why i cant be bothered to blog anymore is how shamefully my life has degraded since the last time i blogged. Dreams were destroyed, prestige gone, pay cut, love lost.... the list goes on.
Obviously things not to be proud of, things that should be swept under the carpet and simply forgotten.

Anyway. I need a stash of bourbon. Please pop me an sms if ur going overseas (and coming back of course. )

Tata. suckers.

2007-06-16T13:12:00.000+08:00

Bounce Baby Out the DOOR!

Just something vaguely in line with my physiotherapy. Nevertheless an awesome video!

2007-06-14T00:28:00.000+08:00

Celebrate my birthday , Be part of FREE HUGS DAY!

Official International Free Hugs Day will fall on Saturday the 7th of July this year, or more specifically on 7/7/7- Quote from http://www.freehugscampaign.com

2007-05-22T10:42:00.001+08:00

To: boi who never fails to make me smile by doing the silliest things ever

Love: joblessgirl (:

2007-04-24T10:02:00.000+08:00

Absence to love is like wind is to fire, it extinguishes the small and rekindles the great.

2007-04-14T19:47:00.000+08:00

been writing my medicine essay for the whole day now. i wonder if it is took informal and personal , narrative even.
its about that defining moment where i grew up so much, where i hugged my parents for the first time. where i got so touched i cried in the car. where i realised how i took things for granted.

now as i write this, i realise how i took someone else for granted. perhaps not for granted. but how i often do things that make me regret in the heat of the moment.
i'm probabbly not the most cool headed person on earth.
its tough trying to convince myself that its over. but hearing ur tone. i know it is.

and by the time you read this, i'll be fine, asleep even, and looking forward to a new life that revolves on a whole new perspective.

"you are happiest while you are making the greatest contribution"

and to you:

be happy.

the end.

2007-04-14T18:40:00.000+08:00

Gave my mom money along with a small little thank you note , for the first time.
It felt tears of joy brimming in my eyes. Finally she knows how much i care, and i knew beneath those words of "dont want la, you're not working yet" lies wild emotions running.
I'm proud that i did what i did.

And thats basically why i want to be a doctor.
Giving others the chance to show that they care too,
give them time to understand the nobility and sacrifice in parenting.

Mom just came and asked me whether i was eating at home
(although homecooked food isnt good in comparison to outside),
i said yes.

Because, you should never , never reject homecooked food.

Lost, but not gone.

2007-04-14T17:59:00.000+08:00

the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.

there are to ways to getting what you want, either u find a way, or you make one.

2007-04-08T20:17:00.000+08:00

i'm 1 hr away from booking in. and this fearful feeling is exactly the way i felt 10 years ago, on a sunday evening feeling all scared about going to school the next day. That feeling where u are just so damned scared of forgetting to bring something, or do something and that fear of getting fucked .

Think i've really lost my balls over these few months. Then again, real authority never came into my life until now. There had been no one who took away my freedom and fuck with my mind so much until orh ci ass came along.

I dont know how much longer i can hold on.

I realise how small and easily stressed up i am, i realize what scares me the most.
Losing People.

not money, not face, not any other damn insignificant thing in the world,
but losing people that i'm living for, people i'm living to enjoy life with.

tomorrow's D-DAy, i'm moving on to another phase of orh ci ass, without my landyard(protection), and i'm scheduled to get a turn-out at 4am tomorrow. which means i wont get much sleep tonight.

give me a greater purpose in life please.

and da da,

you are the best feeling i can get in the world.

2007-03-25T21:59:00.000+08:00

To My Chee Poo.

Do you really love a woman?
to understand her, you gotta know her deep inside
her every thought, see every dream
and give her wings if she wants to fly
nd when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms
you know you really love a woman

[chorus 1]
When you love a woman
and tell her that shes really wanted
when you love a woman then tell her that shes the one
Because she needs somebody, to tell her that its gonna last forever
so tell me have you ever really, really ever loved a woman

To really love a woman, let her hold you
till you kno she needs to be touched
you gotta breathe her, you gotta taster her
till you can feel her in your blood
when you can see her unborn children, in her eyes
you know you really love a woman

[chorus 2]
When you love a woman
and tell her that shes really wanted
when you love a woman then tell her that shes the one
Because she needs somebody, to tell her that youll always be together
so tell me have you ever really, really ever loved a woman

Oh you've got to give some faith, hold her tight
a little tenderness, you gotta treat her right
she will be there when you take good care her
ohh you gotta love your woman yeah

And when you find yourself lyting helpless in her arms
you know you really love a woman

[chorus 1]

Just tell me have you really, really every loved a woman
Ohh just tell me have you ever really really ever loved...

I certainly do.

2007-03-25T21:29:00.000+08:00

For the love of freedom and huixian.

3 weeks of confinement, 3km runs everymorning looms. In less than 9 hours i'd be on my way to SAFTI , OCS for my nine months officer cadet course. Another chapter of my life is about to unfold. Of course, its a tough road which i am about to embark, a road that restricts my time with my loved ones, ~~namely my family and huixian~~ namely my FAMILY.

Whilst the air conditioned rooms with computers and the prospect of a 1.2k officer pay entices me, i dread the arrival of monday. After 12 days of leave, i've long grown used to spending my time lazing around with my smelly girl and just fooling around (not with other girls.) Saying our goodbyes just now was extremely tough, it reminded me of the time when i first enlisted. The night before where i got this exact same feeling. Afterall, 3 weeks of not seeing each other is tough, especially when we had spent every single day together, largely lazing around and not doing anything significant, but nevertheless extremely enjoyable with our occasional chao-tehs, kuku-nanas, and suanning each other.

A typical conversation would go like
Me :"Darling, you looked as if u dropped from the skies ... "

*She smiles blissfully*

Me : " So that thing about pigs flying is true . "

or

* sees someone familiar
Me :" why u met him at the club last nite ah . "
Her : " Yah lor, he keep coming close .. cannot stand it, why all guys likedat"
Me: " Wha., where u go sia. i also chionging zouk tonight, u leh ? "
Her :" aiyo, i pity the girls there sia. dont tell u . "
Me :" Aiyo i know how to find u la. i see pple running out of the club means u inside liao. consperm. "

OPS. I forgot. this is supposed to be a post about how much i love her.

So with much procrastination , i've decided to give my mother some money once i get my next paycheck. 700 bucks is not alot, but i'm pretty excited to actually give something back. It would be a significant moment for me too, something to mark my adulthood and possibly to show that i care ( which i've been trying hard to show these days. )

At this moment, the importance of my family and huixian has never been more evident. Its during times like these where you just wish you could look at them for another second, Its times like these where i realize how much her presence means and how i wanna spend the rest of my life with her.

I do think i've grown quite a bit this year , mentally of course.
(For those kinky ones who were thinking of something else, no, puberty has stopped, sadly.)

Not grown out of wanting a PSP *hints Hints!!* , but starting to think about life, well, as an adult.
The world of cars, condos, children, jobs and ~~women~~ a woman awaits. On the postive side, i've because much more pro-family. From that angsty teenager who rarely talks to anyone in the house and gives frustrated one word replies like " Ya. " , i've became a person, who, is very much inclined to spending time with the family. A change which i have to thank my lovely other half for.

Last christmas saw me make my first christmas present for my parents (perhaps i did give them presents when i was young, i cant remember now. ) , a photoframe with the frame decorated with cut up pictures of the family members (i shall post the photo up later). Something which i hope touched their hearts, and somehow expressed my love for them.

And finally.
I have to call cheepoo now.
Time's precious.
So is she.

To all out there.
Treasure ya parents . Treasure everything that you have now, because you never know when it would all be gone. Family's forever. Girlfriends are not. Friends may not. Money never is.
Think further than that game of WoW or DOTA, life goes beyond that, seriously.

SHall elaborate more the next time.

To Mom, Dad, Sis, Bro, Huixian, Miki Foo, and my bros:

I LOVE YOU.

265 days before i get commissioned~!

2007-03-23T09:47:00.000+08:00

Bryan Adams - When a man loves a woman.

23rd March.

My posting is out today. At 10 00 hrs. But since 0900 i've been patroling the website and refreshing every 5 mins. Talk about anxiety. But all this is not unfounded. Whilst the normal person gets either OCS/SISPEC/MAN (in a combat unit), i can go from OCS-> Clerk. Simply because i was supposed to be deemed non combat fit (or so my commander told me) , moments before i POP-ed.

Perhaps i should start , well, from the start. So, it was a flurry of applications right after the release of the A Level results. Medicine was my first choice of course, though the debate whether i'm doing it for the money, deferment, prestige or nobility of the career still goes on frequently in my head.

Recently met a classmate of mine at this Airforce showcase, where we exchanged information about our university applications.

He: " What did you apply for ?"
ME: "Medicine, and you ?"
He: "Chemical Engineering, ur results so good sure go in one la. "
ME :" Dont think so, look at the people around us, they are miles above me . " (It was an event which hoped to attract potential scholars)

Moments later.....

He : "Actually i applied for medicine as first choice too. But my results likedat, cannot get in one la. "

asshole.

Anyway. its 1000. I'm in OCS.

The future seems so bright and ... tiring . Again.

Doctor/Pilot/Scholar ?

2007-03-20T21:24:00.000+08:00

Gosh Jielong, why u sho vulgar ?

ha i wrote my first word and i didnt feel like blogging.

Since everyone seems to be ending their posts with a song,
i find it almost mandatory to do so too.
so here goes, one of my favourite classics from the army.

My LapCheong

My lapcheong brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like, it's better than yours
Damn right it's better than yours
I could teach you
But I have to charge

My lapcheong brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like, it's better than yours
Damn right it's better than yours
I could teach you
But I have to charge

I know you want it
The thing that makes me
What the guys go crazy for
They lose their minds
The way I whine
I think it's time

La,La,La,La,La
Warm it up
La,La,La,La,La
The boys are waiting
La,La,La,La,La
Warm it up
La,La,La,La,La
The boys are waiting

I see you're on it
You want me to teach thee
Techniques that freaks these boys
It can't be bought
Just know things get caught
Watch if you're smart

La,La,La,La,La
Warm it up
La,La,La,La,La
The boys are waiting
La,La,La,La,La,
Warm it up
La,La,La,La,La
The boys are waiting

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like, it's better than yours
Damn right it's better than yours
I could teach you but I have to charge

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like, it's better than yours
Damn right it's better than yours
I could teach you but I have to charge

Oh, once you get involved
Everyone will look this way, so
You must maintain your charm
same time maintain your halo
Just get the perfect blend
Plus what you have within
Then next his eys are squint
Then he's picked up your scent

La,La,La,La,La
Warm it up
La,La,La,La,La
The boys are waiting
La,La,La,La,La
Warm it up
La,La,La,La,La
The boys are waiting

2007-03-20T19:48:00.000+08:00

For Jielong's avid readers, sorry for infringing but I'm simply bored and lazy to open my own blog.
And No, you wont be getting your daily dose of Vulgar-Cum-Dirty-Minded jokes today.

Pretty Belgium Restaurant - A Date With A Tall, Handsome, Smart, and Rich, guy.
that pretty much cancels out jl yea?

(im kidding!! please dont abuse me like you did that day!)

Look at the price of "Hot Water"! Which i incidentally ordered.
The restaurant uses orange "mahjong paper" as tablecloths -( although i doubt Belgiums over there know what mahjong is) and they provide a bottle of crayons for customers to draw on, which they hang up on the wall if its nice.

Obviously, my drawing was thrown away after the meal.
And they serve the most yummilicious pizzas I've ever eaten.

I never knew such places existed- and its a mere 5 mins walk from my workplace!
Come and visit me?
Bukit Timah.

2007-03-18T16:14:00.000+08:00

I want a PSP. Anyone selling or enlisting soon ?

GIVE ME URS.

Oh. i'm selling all my A Level Books

100 Essays From TIME -$15

Redspot Ten Year Series
Maths 1999 Edition (yearly) - $4
Physics 2003 Edition (Topical) - $6
Biology 2003 Edition (Topical) -$6
Physicals MCQ Latest Edition- $5

Books By CS Toh
Study Guide For A Level – Chemistry 2003 Ed -$5
Study Guide For A Level- Physics 2.0 Edition/2003 Edition -$5
Solutions to A Level Examinations (TYS) Chemistry 2003 Edition - $5

Advanced Level GP Essays (Dr C Paul Verghese) -$4
Longman A Level Chemistry Textbook (JGR Briggs )- $20

Physics Ten Year Series
1976-2004 - $7
1976-2002 -$5
1976-1999 -$4

Chemistry Ten Year Series 1983-1999 -$4

A Level Classified Maths (SAP) - $5
Maths C TYS Topical – 1982-2002 -$6
Biology TYS 1993-2002 -$5

1100 Words You Need To Know (highly recommended for GP) -$7

AND I'M GIVING TUITION.
so do call me.

2007-03-11T08:53:00.000+08:00

The Power of the Forbidden Fruit.

A new phase of life.

2007-03-04T14:28:00.000+08:00

When the cold wind blows........(bung mates' collection of cold jokes.)

One day a cabbage was sweating vigorously as he was running, so he started stripping,

HE DIED.

A Matchstick was making a tough decision and he scratched his head,

HE DIED.

An MRT named after ten men ?
Tampines.

An MRT named after 40 men ?
Pasir Ris ( Pa SI LI ) *eighty balls.

2007-03-04T14:18:00.000+08:00

The Crossroads

Damn, seeing this photo makes me miss the old good times. Pooling every freaking day, idling around enjoying the air con, ponning those lessons for that pool room (which is gone now btw.)

Much has happened these few days. The A levels, which , like the O levels, gave me a pleasent surprise. Ten more days before i POP, but chances are that the days after would be a busy flurry of scholarship applications, rushing those darned essays, stressing myself up getting ready for THAT interview. I really wanna go med school. Though i'm not too sure whether its my interest, or my hatred for the armee and how med school actually offers me the chance to leave the armee. Or maybe its because all along, my parents have wanted me to be a doctor like my brother. Or is it the money and glamour ?

(The reason why all ive written may seem so incoherent is cause i'm freaggin bookin in in 4 hours. DAMMIT. )
Cheryl appeared on 3/3 (SAT) 's TODAY newspaper. Gosh. Its quite a way to start your day flipping through the papers and seeing a classmate.

Anyway she's gonna be a doctor too! an animal one though.

cheeeepooooooooooooooooo

2007-03-03T07:41:00.000+08:00

2007-02-24T19:11:00.000+08:00

Its not what you have lost, It's about what you gain in the days ahead.

It suddenly hit me that these very words which i dismissed as bullshit on the first day when i got enlisted, suddenly made so much sense. It was true.

I was out buying food to bring back tomorrow, and then decided to go to sgpools for a gamble on tonights game. Yet on the way there, i stopped.

"What for, " I surprisingly told myself.

It was a habit that failed to die despite my numerous attempts (half-hearted ones of course=] ). For those who have been away, and havent seen me in ages (which is practically everybody.), its a b ig change isn't it ?
For a person who gambled almost whenever he could, more than he could afford, and losing his entire savings in a week,

I'm amazed.

Another observation was that my piorities had changed.
I remember days where i practically treated my home like a hotel, going home only at nights, then disappearing at daybreak. I remember almost giving up my loved one for a silly fling, for a silly quarrel, for ~~a silly scratch~~ many silly scratches. I remember those times where i just wished that my father would just disappear , as he came home drunk and made a havoc. And those fights and conflicts i had, over money, small actions like a tug or a pull, or a harade of vulgarities.

Not that i'm saying i'm a perfect saint now.
I'm just glad that Jielong has, finally.

Grown up.

(to be continued....)

2007-02-20T14:50:00.000+08:00

To : Little Miss Fart-Alot.
Message: Get well soon! Lets spend a wonderful saturday okay ?

2007-02-20T14:42:00.000+08:00

Keep Holding On

2007-02-16T14:28:00.000+08:00

Many things have happened since the turn of the year, yet i've barely had the chance to blog everything down. Thank god SAF decided to give us a five day holiday (Fri-Tue ). Finally a breather, and 'germ' free air.

Probably the most noticable phenomenon when you see Tekong recruits, would be that they all seem to suffer from TB. The tekong cough, as we love to call it, almost comes to you on the first day you step into the island, along with that dreaded Load Bearing Vest ( LBV/SBO ).

With the abundance of mozzies aside, the island looks almost like a holiday chalet from the outside. With waters so clear you could catch recruits trying to suba dive from tekong to singapore, and a skyline free of tall buildings, that place could not be more romantic, the only downside being that there arent women there. (For those who wanna argue further though, i sugest you look at female recruits there. and then a look at me. Other than me being handsomer, i must say there isnt a difference.)

Brutal , the army.
They give you sea view, clear and sparking skies which rival any place in Singapore,
but they take away your girlfriend.

SO, for the bulk of the time, its either thrash talking with your bung mates,
or for the adventurous few,
having a competition with your buddy -> who can shoot the ceiling first ?

Yet, in a way, the army does give its soldiers some welfare.
For that girlfriend or girlfriend(s) which you lose,
they give you 3 buddies, and they make you inseparable .

Toilet ?
Together .

Shitting during field camp ?
Together.

Sleep?
Again, together.

So much so that by the end of 2 weeks, you would have found out how many moles your buddy has on his backside, how whether he likes to shit squatting or sitting down, the capacity of his rifle, and perhaps even how many rounds he has in his, ahem, rifle. If you know what i mean.

Chances are, you're probabbly having that puzzled look on your face now.

Nevertheless, thepenismighterthanthesword.
so you guys should use it more.

2007-02-10T22:34:00.000+08:00

The shaven life.

Waking up at 5.15 every morning seemed an impossible task for me before i enlisted. Not counting champions league matches at 3.30am of course. But sleeping about 5 hours everyday and staying mentally alert for the rest of the day ?

Didn't think i'll make it, but i did.

Field Camp, Live Range, SIT test -> ALL over!

Shall update more... soon.

A levels up soon!

A A A B , B3 , Merit Ungraded.

I feel it in my bones.

Oh ya. I'm a psc- reject now. sobs.

2007-01-09T00:11:00.000+08:00

A mushy wushy post for my cutesy burpy honey bunny woneey.

This, is our tale to tell.

She Said:
while using your blogging account to blog my survey, i found this post that u didnt complete. and its really beautifully written. wont you complete it for me darling?

I said:
My thoughts are running like a whirlwind now, so much to write, though much of it would show people what a big jerk i am, but knowing that you won't answer my calls, i'd figured this be the only way that i'm gonna tell you everything. Honestly.

I have never believed in true love, or everlasting love before. Even with you, i knew the cruel fate of love still existed. No doubt that love was true, sweet, and even exciting then. Those unfamilar and tingling sensations which we experienced when i first held your hand, or that honey glazed kiss on the cheek, was simply moments in this relationship which i'd never forget. Firsts, are always special, and even yearned for. Sadly, the destiny of fate holds that firsts, only comes once.

With Man, being that flawed and selfish animal which feeds on excitement, you might wonder, is love a temporary phenomenon which diminshes when all the 'firsts' are over ? Of course, the 'firsts' in life are limitless, a first baby, a first holiday, a first house, a first paycheck, or even the first giggle from that baby girl.
These firsts, coupled with the bond which you share with your partner, makes love a seducing drug.

Havent we all heard how love makes the world go round, or for the romantics, love being a religion? Havent the sight of old, fragile couples walking hand in hand bring out that smile of envy and sweetness out of us ?

I remember once, when i saw this indian bus driver stop at this bus stop, and waited for this old chinese ah-ma to board and climb up to the second level and sat down, before he drove off. I smiled to myself.

It dawned to me immediately ( the same way i realized that i wanted to be a doctor), that inside all of us, there is this piece of 'good'ness. I realized that the happiest man could never be that happy if people around him were glum and gloomy. I realized everything that we quarrelled over, seemed so silly. Everything that i almost gave this relationship up for, was the ugliest of illusions.

Happiness is not when you wake up to see the prettiest face on earth,
it is waking up to see the face that i love. Yours.

Happiness is not about clubbing and dancing the night off with a stranger,
Its playing a game of shithead with you and ending up laughing out heads off screaming
" KU KU NA NA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

Love isnt always exciting or sweet.
Being in a relationship isnt all about love either.
Its about love, trust, commitment, and tolerance.

Loving someone, and being in a relationship is all too different matter eh ?
How true it is.

This love,

a drug i can never quit.

2007-01-08T23:05:00.000+08:00

Slk's Tour De Bintan!

This entry is probabbly far behind time, but i've been busy just spending my final precious moments before 12 Jan calls. Much has happened since the last post ; the class chalet, the farewell dinner at Miss Clarity with slk, my cough which took $100 bucks to cure, and of course, lovely moments with sher.

Life in 2007 has been eventful to say the least. Now, i we can boast of going through many things no one else has done. For me, i've resigned to my lot, that NS is unescapable. And a piece of advice there to those out there who are as nervous about BMT as i was -> go out, look at that frail skinny and weak guy in his 20's, he made it through BMT, you can too.

Anyway, back to the main point. This post is about this special group of guys who started off from a bunch of lazy and bored students who had nothing to do during recess/after school and decided to play some football. This bunch of people who stuck together, 2 years after they graduated, and met every saturday, just for that beautiful game called - soccer.

and this amazing bunch of guys ?

SLK.

It was a memorable trip, not for the relentless rain, or the Pre-Integrated Resort Training lessons held daily in room 205, but for having 9 of us being there, celebrating that friendship which lasted so long, and so far.

Ah Long takes his first Bintan- breath of air.

Mahjong, Texas Hold'em, Blackjack. It was practically our own private casino, the entry fee was a tad higher though ($340 bucks.).

SO what exactly did we do there with all the rain and being stuck in the hotel for 3 days ? Well, we gym-ed, gambled, drank..... and of course.....

*before*

that all ever so important.... male bonding.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*after*

Oh please, Isaac, Jason Oh, Addison, Saunders, Eef.
Please do not get excited and visit this blog at 3am.

and we go clubbing.

As we all knew, bintan was a place famous for underground casinos, prostitution, the beach, rain, but NOT clubbing. and this particular one.....
boasted of having jielong able to name every person in the club.
Slk, 2 Bouncers, 2 Bartenders, A Band, and 1 angmoh.

er, not quite the Zouk of Bintan i must say.

this is the bitch of bintan. Nice right.

Ahoy! SLK - Bintan O7. courtesy of wahwah.

Tan, Josh, Sams, Neil, Wah, Chaos, Quek, Meng, and Me.

Dedicated to SLK, and those who perished in the Taiwan Earthquake, and the 9-11, and the Bali blasts, and the Thailand Car bombs, and the Madrid Train Blast, and the Iraq civil unrest, and the ex Gay PM in Malaysia, and TT Durai, and many more who have deceased.

I love you guys. But not in a gay way (hell, i'm in singapore.)

Cant write more, got a dsta interview tmw.
Wish me luck peeps.

2006-12-30T22:08:00.000+08:00

Our Eight Hundreth Quarrel.

It seemed to head for a wonderful day as JL finally got off his bed, and dragged his ass to Bugis for some christmas shopping for S's present (cool eh. s's. muahahha *self amusesment.*) . It was 28th december. And you'd know someone's unhappy when she hasn't received her present THAT late.

But all was going to be fine, or so he thought as he bought her presents ; a hand jewllery (holy french connection! i cant spell. ) which he later knew as a bracelet, and a pair of rings.
Feeling good about himself, and slightly relieved (because he knew all the sacarsm thrown at him because he didnt buy her a present was going to end, THO that was not the main reason), he went for a game of pool with his usual buddies, whilst S made her way from the heartlands to pool fusion -the one with the LIFT.-

Moments later, S came over , looking very much distrubed and frustrated. It turned out that she had quite some trouble finding a free toilet as Bugis, which made her peeing session extremely un-shiok as a result.

( which reminds me that if i do become an important person in Singapore in future, say a toilet contractor or a home affairs minister, i'm gonna build huge female toilets with loadsa cubicals while male toilets are gonna be mini-sized. For the simple fact that male toilets are largely under utilised.)

*fast forward to the quarel*
(told ya i cant spell.)

JL and S walking
*S notices loads of SCRATCHES on JL's 2 hour old ring
(because JL plays pool, that scratches rings, and JL likes to cling!* cling!* his ring on railings.)

S:" Why you likedat one? dont take care of your ring at all, so many scratches ... "

Jl: " Aiyah scratch only what, after awhile sure scratch one... care for what.., its the symbol of it that counts mah "

S:" Still, so fast scratch le, wha lau you dont take care of the ring one leh "

Jl: "Why you care so much about whether got scratch not ? it is only a matter of time what "

S:" I cant believe you treat it like that LA!... "

* argument on scratches continues.........

Conclusion. Well, actually i have no conclusion. But i'm certainly glad to report that another storm is over. and YES, we have stopped arguing about scratches. Though somehow i get the sneaky feeling that she is secretly buay song ( DONT Lie. i know. ) when she looks at my ring. But all it is fine and lovey dovey now.

And thats the way it should be. (damn i'm feeling itchy, bloody mosquitoes.)

SmiLES!

Till the next time!~
Gotta go.... erm. scratch.

Only we know.

"Seduction is at its best when it turns into imagination"

JL.

2006-12-28T20:48:00.000+08:00

that free haircut that we never desire.

i am wow-ed. for the first time in two days, i can finally log on to Msn Messenger. Not that i'm all too bothered or concerned. The days where i used to idle chat with people i never ever meet were long gone. Now, i would much rather spend my precious remaining moments with my other half.
(i know i'm sounding as if i'm gonna die like soon , but bare with me. Going there is just an inch short of dying. )

12 Jan looms ever so closely, and i am seriously rethinking the idea of counting down to it. Look, no one ever counts down to something bad do they ? Its always the countdown to Christmas, or chinese new year but Never , ever to doomsday !
Argh, i think i'll probabbly be the most stressed out recruit there ever. The thought of waking up everyday at 0530 HOURS. and sleeping at 2230 HOURS just freaks me out. Now, i'm sleeping at 12 and waking up everyday at 12 !

and neither does "Recruit FOO!, get your fucking ass off your bed right now " sound like the best alarm i could get.

Gosh.

I'm stressed.

I dont' know what i'm thinking

Inspiration

Logic Emotion Paradox

Come What May

Will you give this up ?

Square Root Threee

Red Snow.

the unspoken

madness

Uncle Mas

Paper Chase

My Philiosophy - Love

4 Days, Eight Hours of Sleep.

Stymied.

Seven Deadly Sins

Beyond.

Watawata Wonderful World.

Laissez-faire

Ambition

The Greatest Weakness Of Man

North Goes South

Gay

Today I Go Swim, An The Riva.,

Its the mind.

Cheesecake Crave.

Social Justice and Meritocracy

Party @ Arena

Mistakes

Beauty Is Only Skin Deep.

Polemication

Big Brown Eyes

Drunkard.

Scotch Mist On The Rocks

I didnt wanna go to school ten years ago.

First Post Of The New Year

Larkin Step - Ling86

New Year Resolution

Year 2008

Melli Meehli Christmas.

Drinking Kills Your Brain Cells

Hangover Christmas

Man Utd V Everton

Sleeping Pills

About You Now. (no more.)

Emotions. Desire. Hurt. Sanity.

Emotions. Desire. Hurt. Sanity.

I Can't Make You Love Me.

Archives

The Overcompensation Theory

SLK's Funniest Animals.

My Virgin Gambling Experience.

Quotes from the Heart.

This is Football.

Conservation

Beauty