Inspiration
Words turn me on. It should.
A friend of mine once told me " Your outlook determines your outcome " . Nicely put by her.
Here i go.
Love, is an emotional high.
Like all other highs. It doesn't last.
Logic Emotion Paradox
i wanted to call you again today, as with every other day.
I played my guitar today imagining that you were in front of me again today.
I played that song that i wrote, hoping that you would come back, or call but you never did.
I wish you could read this, i wish you could know how i really feel. That is empty without you. No one beats having you by my side. I wish i could prove to you that i really love you, that i really changed, that i really regret. i wish, i wish .
I wish you were here, lying beside me once more again .
Love you, sherlyn tan shi ling.
Come What May
I remember number 1 thing i learnt in Management Communications . Always assume your message will be mis-understood.
Indeed, we did . ( mouthful isnt it )
Its been eons since i last started blogging regularly, and my pool of creativity and writing had been drained and dry for quite some time now. Time to get things started, and RANT, most importantly.
B zai and I have hit a pretty rough patch, as you might have known from my last post. But thankfully, we have both agreed to give it time , and hope things revert to our old selves.
At the brink of losing her, i realized something. Never ever did i put myself at the mercy of another in such a way before.
Looking back at my past relationship, i always had something. It was control. I always had it, every moment of it. I even thought the same way, up till the point where i was walking out of her house after breaking up. " I decided to end this " I thought to myself.
This was different. B zai got apprehensive about this relationship, while i stood here, praying to all the stars in the universe that she would hold on to it .
It was a big change.
And such a big change could only mean something.
She was different, to me . She held a position no one could match.
That position, happened to be the centre of my life.
This rough patch brought insecurity into my life. Suddenly every word, every tone, every second she took to answer my question mattered. I saw myself stalking her facebook profile, staring at her msn conversation waiting for her to reply, and wondering who she was talking to . Suddenly, i became as vulnerable as a naked man in the middle of orchard road.
and in order to really illustrate how vulnerable i felt, that naked man had a small member.
My friend was shocked that i had been reduced to such a state.
But I wasnt. I knew that even though i lost my control in this relationship, although i might lose all my pride, my ego , it would be worth it, if things went back to normal.
She was simply the best i ever had , and i fucking mean it.
So, the time we spend in the days ahead would be crucial.
Of course, it would take two hands to clap, or two semicircles to form a circle, whatever rocks your boat.
Oh god, and i realize that there is a high possibility that she would read this.
Nah, im not gonna tell her that im continuing my blog, she wouldnt bother.
Well, if she reads this, it means that she bothers, and she probabbly still has a thing for me, and shes gonna be so happy ( hopefully ) that im insanely in love with her
( like some groupie to F4 or 5566 - that was my time. I have no idea wh0 the new boybands are. I ve gonna check with Addison for that one)
, that her tail is gonna wag .
Oh god, i suddenly imagined her tail, and i remember what a hot ass she has.
Out of point, but yah. My gf's hot & sizzling, like Tie Ban Dou Fu .
My dormant mind has came up with some rather cold jokes that i want to share , and put to pen , so people know its my freggin joke. Maybe someday i'll be a resident columnist of playboy or something, hang out with the playboy bunnies, instead of working a 9-3AM job as an accountant. sheesh .
Why do they teach trigonometry in Primary schools ?
So the students would get their "degrees" .
At this point in time, you should probably realize that the jokes that are coming along would be as deadpan as this . So ...... read on !
What kind of candy comes in all flavours, and most imporantly, is FREE OF CHARGE ?
Eyecandy !
Why do chinese/japanese have such small eyes ?
God decided that it was simply wrong if your eyes were bigger than your balls.
Braindead.
Sweet msn times.
To end it off,
"You are my glue, without you, i am nothing but broken pieces."
Will you give this up ?
4 am. Just got home from chao's 21st birthday celebration.
But all that was on my mind was how things changed between us. Reading your livejournal now, im reminded of the many fond memories we shared. And how our love was the center of our lives. I dont know what changed us, but i sure miss the times we shared. I miss the times where you would call me and we would have wonderful and entertaining conversations about everything in the world and all that was going on with our lives.
Looking back, i regret the things i did that hurt you, i regret not hugging you for a second more, i regret not looking deeply into your eyes and telling you that i truly love you, when i had the chance. Life is such. Things are taken for granted, and often the most important things in life.
I wish you didnt change, and i still cant understand how a mere close clubbing experience with a guy in KL zouk could make you think that u were missing out on something in your youth, when i was feeling that this is what my youth should be like, filled with the best and sweetest memories that we shared.
I still distinctively remember our first date. Me frantically trying on different outfits just before i met you, how i made a mess in my room, while i struggled to recall that momentous night when fate, brought the two of us together. The first time i held your hand, the first time we kissed, the first time i felt that i really wanted to share and spend the rest of my life with someone.
So many firsts, was spend with you .So many things we did, that would surely be the highlight of my youth, and even my life. I just wish we could carry on , get married , have kids, and form a wonderful family. I wish i could be there hugging you keeping you warm every night, to be there wiping your tears, and to be by ur side washing the dishes while we play with the detergent foam.
I have really mixed feelings right now. Just saw your facebook "On your mind" thingy which said - KL Phuture was awesome. Was it because of that guy ? Was it because u ate that forbidden fruit ? My imagination roams while my heart slowly melts with every single second. KL phuture was awesome, it said.
Was it better how we spent the past 17 months ?
Is giving all this up, so that you can truly be liberated, and "enjoy" your youth/ socialize/ meet new people really worth it ?
Perhaps it was you telling me that your love died, or that you are no longer enjoying this relationship, in a fanciful way.
Perhaps it was simply because of all i did.
And tonight, i really regret.
I thought we would make it.
I really did .
Remember our awesome valentines day @ bugis ?
Sometimes, we tend to look only at what is in front of us, and what we want.
Sometimes, things are forgotten.
Sometimes, we tend to forget what others might feel / how our decisions may impact others.
I am no saint myself.
I did the worst things i could do , to you.
You, the best i ever had and have.
I miss you .
I wish now, that i was preparing for that first date with you , again .
and i love eating ur vommitted crabs.
Square Root Threee
I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three
The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic
I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three
As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed
(Taken from the movie : Harold and Kumar )
Red Snow.
I'm tired of the sunset,
Why do birds fly away when its winter.
The footprints washed away by the sand.
Here i am left to wither.
What is there in love.
That makes u write poems,
and sing songs like you really mean it.
Cheers to our passing youth.
Is there anything left in the world to know.
Or is there no place to start searching.
Our innermost souls,
greed lust and pride leaves it yearning.
To pass each day without feeling,
is that what life is i'm asking.
Does love make us like sands in an hourglass,
falling down eventually with time,
waiting for a new master to turn it back up.
Destiny within our hands,
fate on theirs .
Hand in hand we shall walk together,
till death parts us in winter.
the unspoken
i am miles away,yet u are near, for deep inside u always stay.what future there is i fear.your radiance and laughter,i miss so dear.your presence completes me,like a fool, i'm grinning,so silly.to what is lost i reach,mind of a regretful weep.In memories its you i leech,that love we had so intense and deep.when you laid so close to me,no other place in the world i wanted to be. no other i wanna be.
